Coping, continued

I'm sorry my posts have been so sporadic. I have literally been physically sick since September 11 (I remember the date exactly, for many obvious reasons) with bronchitis, a soupcon of flu, a sprinkling of gastroenteritis, and now a bad sinus infection. I think the emotional issues that I wrote about last week are feuling the fire, so to speak, as feeling generally run-down makes me weepy, which makes me feel sicker, and so on. I am trying with all my might to finish up a huge work project, and help my kids cope with the changes in their lives.

Not to mention that I still shamefully feel a good deal of self-pity; as my mom once said, no matter how old you are, when you're sick you want your mother. And that's not an option; I'm completely on my own. My dad couldn't help right now, either.

Anyway, at my most recent doctor's visit for yet another course of antiobiotics, I mentioned all this to her, and then burst into tears for the second time that week (the first was at a parent-teacher conference). Scary things happened; I couldn't breathe, and my focus went in and out, if you know what I mean.

The doctor was properly alarmed, and I said I had been thinking about taking an SSRI for the short-term. She suggested Lexapro. Oh, the irony -- my mother is the one who needs and somehow hasn't been prescribed SSRIs, and here I am, getting a free sample.

I do think I'll try it when I'm feeling better overall, because I need to get over this hump and find a way to cope with the rigors of daily life, because the months ahead will only get tougher. And I will seek out that local caregivers support group. Thanks to all of you who have e-mailed and commented. I feel like I already have a support group. Plus my friends call; the neighbor brought chicken soup; three women have offered to pick up my kids from school, if needed. These nice things make all the difference, don't they?

If anyone has had any positive or negative experiences with SSRIs for yourself, as you go through this, I'd love to hear more.