On not sweating the small stuff (warning! yoga mention!)

How many times have you heard it said, "When I was faced with [insert crisis here], I finally realized what was important in life?"  Or, "Dealing with [catastrophe] really made me get my priorities in order."

My neighbor, who had a heart attack in his '50s, is a perpetually serene fellow because of it.  Ask him how he's doing, and he'll say, "I'm great.  I'm always great.  I'm alive!" He's right.  But I'm not channeling that essential truth at all. I do realize my priorities - my family, my friends, their health, my health - but nevertheless am still freaking out continually over extremely minor issues.  I.E.: Being absolutely sure I don't forget to buy a teeny little travel bottle of olive oil for our upcoming trip. Raging at my children for leaving clothing piled in their room. Seething inwardly (or outwardly) at bad drivers.  Wasting time on Facebook. Crying for no reason. Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.

I think that having been pushed to the brink actually makes it much harder to achieve equilibrium. Over a decade ago my husband and I were struggling with infertility. The shock and pain of that, and the continual feeling of loss, scratched open a wound that I feel has never healed, even though I have two lively children now. I find that after that experience it's much easier for me to lose control more quickly, whether that's losing my temper utterly or being more fearful of life in general. Come to think of it, I'm not sure why elderly people are not all cranky, bitter and pissed off.  Think of all they've been through.

Perhaps the anxiety, rage and irritability are simply bad habits that need to be unlearned.  In theory, I know how to do this, just like I know how useless many of these emotions are (but important to accept them, oh, yes).  Doing it is quite another matter.  One reason I'm so interested in yoga is because I know that controlling our physiological aspects goes a long way toward keeping the mental in check.  Sound body, sound mind.  There are many studies documenting the effect breath regulation has on anxiety. But how often do you have to do it?  Is meditating once in the morning enough?  Or do I need to do diaphragmatic breathing all day long?

A long time ago I interviewed Dr. Herbert Benson, the pioneer of mind/study research.  Time to check out his classic, The Relaxation Response, for tips.  I'll report back.